I Just Know....

Faith is always tested each and everyday. There is no greater test in the world than your faith. Mine has been tested many times and I've fallen each and every time. Standing on your own two feet and balancing out your life well, it's not exactly easy. Things come into your life and it screws with you, makes you think you're hopeless and that the world it out to get you. It sounds sort of foolish doesn't it? Well I can tell you it's not. When the sun shines and the dark fades, it always means new beginnings. But not always do you feel that way, not always will it look all beautiful and sweet.

The grass is green, leaves are yellow, fall begins and so does your world. Each season brings something new to the world. It may be something sweet, beautiful, kind, exciting, new, gracious.. but then another season can come in and take all that beauty and turn it into a harsh, cruel world. Just like faith, it's a season, but the only difference is you have control over what you feel and how you act towards the feelings you carry. I know deep inside my faith isn't so strong, but doesn't mean I'll give up. Like Jesus, he walked this world with pain, guilt and so much more because of those around him who sinned. He carried a burden and so do we.

We carry someone's happiness on our shoulders and that is a burden no matter what we think or how we feel. I know that no matter what, I'll be standing in the end, holding my head up high. Right now, I can't for see it, but I can feel it. Don't ask me how, I just know. So until then, I'll make mistakes, I'll hurt people, I'll cry, I'll bleed, I'll yell and scream up a storm... But I'll never let go of my passion. I'll never give up on myself regardless how dark my world is, I'll stand high and strong. I just know I'll be okay.

Open door

The door is at the very top of the steps. Nothing can defeat the purpose of walking through the door. Light shines through the broken door. All around is darkness, nothing living or breathing, only the soul that stands at the bottom looking up is alive.

Why can't she walk through the door, the door that is broken but yet is her only way out? Nothing is stopping her now, not one thing is stopping her. She keeps hoping for the same damn thing... she never strays to far from the sidewalk, she knows that if she were to let her guard down... she'd be doomed. Afraid is what she is, afraid of it all. The world is big and she is small, she's not sure if the world is ready for her.

Tick, tick, tick are the sounds she can hear now. Everything around her is starting to feel familiar once again. She knows where she's heading too if she doesn't get out now. Slowly that door is starting to look more frightening than inviting. She was so young, you should of have known than to lean on her. Now she cries in the middle of the night. Never again will she know what it feels like to live unless she walks through that door. The broken door that carries her soul.

Light is shining through the broken door. Nothing is in the way... her soul is running from her. Leaving her empty... broken door is allowing the light, but not a moment from her, not one movement. It's hard to trust herself not including everyone around her. She's lost her way and has been lost for sometime now. She's fighting to keep from breaking, her heart her is shattered. She finds it hard to believe in anything. This open door, can it be her way out? Looks inviting she keeps thinking, she's not stupid. Can she walk through the door, can she? The open door is waiting for her...