Understanding.....

This is one weird ass day, so here is my story. I was thinking about all the things in life and I thought hmmmm what is all this shit meaning anyways? I looked up and thought my life is what I call messed up. I have so much things I like, things that make me happy. When I was a kid life wasn't so easy and hell life isn't easy now but when I was younger, it was some what more simple. I didn't have responibilites, didn't have to worry about someone else's happiness. They say promises are deepend in the wounds of those you live for but are they real? I sat today and I thought of all the things I've seen in life, all the things that made me who I am today. I couldn't keep the count of all the shit I have seen or done but I have come to a solution. I am ok. I am ok! I might not have the riches, like alot of people do, I might not have a father to love me back, I might not have all the friends in the world, I may not have a family like most do but I have the main important thing in my life and that is ME! You know people say that we live for a reason, and you know they are right but we never what what that reason will be until the day we die. We're put here on earth for some reason and what that reason is, I don't know I am not God but I know that whatever that reason maybe, we all teach someone something. Even if we're not teaching them on purpose, we teach someone something and it could be he smallest thing in the world that will make an impact on someone's life. It will touch them in a way they have never been touched and when that become's part of them, then you will understand what your purpose is. Though to remind you, sometimes you will never know what your purpose is because we miss our mark's in life. But to it all, I have finally got that I know what life is meant for; its not meant for pain nor suffering even though we have it. We're meant to live, to live in the image of those who will want to be someone or something. We're meant to be live with the freedom of life and freedom of want.

Naked

I wake up in the morning, I put on my face. The one that is going to get me another day, doesn't really matter; how I feel inside. Nothing to surround me from hurt nor anything that can keep me sane. I find it hard these days to live in one piece, I find it hard because I know that it doesn't matter how much I try; I keep falling. I keep walking through the glass of all the shattered dreams. Broken and cut, I keep on walking; moving toward what I know and what I as a person feels. I am so naked, I feel lost; broken and torn but it doesn't matter does it? I have to keep this head of mine up, I have to think of what I am going to every minute! Doesn't matter, none of it matters... I keep moving......... Just like before; I'm still Naked!

Torn, Shattered

Open your eyes, don't you see or are you blind? Hiding in the shadows, she watches the lives of those who are around her. Wonders why can't she have that; the love and the family and so much more. As she walks among them, no one see's her; bleeding, torn and shattered. I don't know how she lives after all this shit. She keeps on trucking, making the same damn mistakes over and over again. No matter how much she keeps her head up; things just fall apart. Struggling to keep food on the table, helping those and not worrying about herself; she's torn, shattered. She don't tell no one, she shuts up; acts normal but insdies she's falling. Falling over and over again, but she can't fall; too much is at stake. Someone depends on her, someone needs her to keep them living. So she smiles and puts on her face, steps outside and takes on the world. She has no idea what she's doing, but keeps on; her feelings she hides, her dreams she keeps them hidden, she's losing herself, falling behind and losing this on going battle. Everyday she keeps thinking it will be all over soon, but for now as she puts on her face and lies through her teeth to everyone that asks; HOW IS LIFE?" All she does is smile and says fine. Though its a lie, she don't say a word about her struggles, her loss; her life fading as she starts to just only exists now. She won't tell them that her life is hard, fucked up and that they live a better life then she does but she keeps her anger inside because she knows its a losing battle but if they were to live in her shoes; they wouldn't last a day. So as they ask often, she lies and says fine.... but insides she's torn, shattered!